Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize