I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
