hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize