Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I need water and some morals
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
