Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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