Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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