It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
