Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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