shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
