Apparently you make a good broom.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize