my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
