found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
