Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
