I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
