that's an acceptable place to lick
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
