fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
