now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
