You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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