in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
