the condom got lost in my hair
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
