sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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