HIV tests are more positive than that guy
We're like a lot better than the average bears
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
