Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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