yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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