just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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