Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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