all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
