I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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