even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Randomize
