Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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