Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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