So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
