does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
