i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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