He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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