you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
