I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
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