i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
