its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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