i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
