My nipple is on Facebook.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Randomize