We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
