Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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