he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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