Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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