Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
