dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Plan B is the new Plan A
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Randomize