Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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