It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
