thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
it's great music for shaving your balls
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Randomize
