he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
