dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Randomize
