I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
