Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
