did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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