the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Randomize
