If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
