I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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