what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize