Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
