I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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