Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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