sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
