apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
