there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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