OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
