Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Randomize
