Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
