WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
