How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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