I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Randomize
