ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
His hands were made for my vagina.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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